So far I have had 5 Suprefact injections of 0.5ml a night. Now I appreciate 0.5ml doesn't look a lot, but the disposable needles I've got make it look an obscene amount. It's really quite scary, and whilst only a little needle, still painful. It lso makes my legs itch a lot and stings.
My body shape has changed. Hugely (and yes, unfortunately that is the most appropriate word). I've never been 'super-skinny', but I had a cracking figure a week ago, and apparently was 'hot' (as described by a colleague when telling me I'd risen up the 'fit list' in school, which was flattering). 5 days later? Not so much, no. I am now a human made out of silly putty - the human equivalent of a waterbed. My skins moves where it shouldn't and I wobble - which is utterly depressing and very upsetting when you consider I am not eating any junk food at all, and eat very healthily. This is just the way I am with hormones, and it sucks.
I thought I was prepared, with this being our 2nd IVF cycle, but it appears not. I'm actually finding this change harder to deal with this time - maybe it reminds me of last time, who knows. I know I am not enjoying it, and the closer the date approaches, the more nervous I get. Part of me wants to run screaming, because isn't it easier not to try than not achieve - after all, if you don't try, you can't lose right? I know it's a stupid thought process, more than anything, but sometimes it feels the right one. I'm glad I'm egg-sharing, it's keeping me going, knowing there is someone out there relying on me. Someone I can't possibly let down.
So my period is expected this weekend - oh joyous day that will be! ;) I will however be able to see whether the acupuncture has made any difference so far. So nervous about that too.
The other irritating thing at the moment is the list of food stuff I am not allowed to eat, and that's before we even consider the possibility of me getting pregnant. No dairy, no meat, no wheat. Yup, I know, it's not leaving an awful lot. I've even had to give up my mini-cheddars, which got me through school.
I am cooking more, but not managed 'no meat' yet. with everything else on top it's very difficult. It will all be worth it if it all works, guess it's the waiting that's the hardest.
