There are so many options now:
- Which IVF unit?
- Can we buy drugs ourself?
- Which units will let you provide your own drugs?
- Which units do Egg-sharing (for me as donor)
Are we better off staying where we are? After all our unit was our local one, and handier for if things go wrong (as we've just found out). Any other unit is at least an hour away.
I'm a mixture of emotions: Anger, frustration, upset, crushed. Part of me wants to cry constantly, part of me wants to smash everything up.
Large part of me wants to go and spend a lot of money, but I don't have it to spend! Dreading going back to work, really dreading it. Right now curling up, closing my eyes, and never waking up again, really appeals.
Only thing keeping me going is DH. I'm worried about him - he doesn't do emotions, and sometimes they catch up with him. He's being strong and positive, and I wonder whether he's doing it for me or him. I wonder if it's sunk in yet, I wonder if he really knows what we've just lost.. I hope he's OK. I know he won't talk, and we both said last night, 'what is there to say?', it's done. But I worry because I love him. As long as we have each other, we can get through anything.
