Went yesterday for our appointment with the consultant. The protocol seems the same as last time - 21day protocol where they treat me like a car, strip everything out, clean it ll up, soup up the engine and hopefully restore everything with a few new parts included. I'll balloon like a whale, and feel utterly revolting, but hey - you go through what you have to in order to get where you want to go, right?
I finally had a question put to me yesterday that I've been thinking about for weeks now. What if I only produce enough eggs for one person, what will I do with them? I had already decided I'd give everything to the recipient - after all, it's not fair, once something has been agreed, to go back on your word, plus I couldn't do it to her. She will have been on drugs running alongside me, so her body will be prepared to receive an embryo - so to get that far and for me to say 'you know what, I'm keeping half the stuff you need' for me, is just plain wrong. I have eggs, I can wait a few months and go again if I have to (even though it's far from ideal), but she would have to wait for someone else to agree to donate. Frankly she'll have been through enough as it is, I'm not adding to the heartache.
I told DH what I'd decided, and he rightly pointed out he thought it was going to be a joint discussion - I felt marginally guilty, it hadn't even occurred to me he wouldn't feel the same way, and luckily he agrees with me.
Now we just keep our fingers crossed that everything goes well. I am nervous - of course I am, who wouldn't be?
