Our appointment yesterday lasted far too long for anyone. nearly 2.5hrs. Trying to go into it with a positive viewpoint but it's very hard. I cried a lot, and felt so totally full of despair.
We basically have 2 options ahead of us.
Either:
- Go to Manchester and be knocked out, in which case everything stays at Manchester, or
- Stay at Sheffield, and risk feeling everything again.
It's a mixture of emotions - half of you thinks it's worth every penny, the other half wonders why we're paying nearly 5K to have our hearts ripped out again. I can't not try though -
I have to know we've done everything we could, but this really is it for both of us.
We're not getting any younger, and if this doesn't work, we're going for adoption. I think I'd rather spend any future money on giving a child a home, rather than trying to fulfill my own biological clock. We so desperately want to be parents, and whereas adoption is an unknown minefield, and you hear bad things about it, there's no guarantee those bad stories wouldn't rear their head with a biological child anyway.
I need to check and see if I have any drugs left over from last time (Don't think I do unfortunately). Ring up Monday and pay the #649 for the drugs. Start down regging on the 6th September.. and we start it all again.
I'm trying to gain some positivity, but at the same time I'm not sure my head will let my heart get attached this time. Self-preservation and all that.
